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Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Nurser

The lactation consultant at the hospital said each mother and child have their own nursing style. I was thinking ours would be mommy bunny and baby snuggle bunny. Did this happen? Hell, no. The real truth is that the baby is 100% in charge of nursing, and because of this our nursing styles are:

Puppy With a Chew Toy, which is self-explanatory, and usually evolves into Sleepy Doberman, when she falls asleep while latched but actually growls when even slightly disturbed.

Lollipop is when she simultaneously sucks super hard, grabs a fistful of boob and pulls the nipple out of her mouth, producing both a loud "pop" sound and pain.

Taking It To Go involves nursing while at the same time trying to roll and/or crawl; The Restaurant Critic takes one or two sips then screams in irritation at some culinary offense, and The Boxer just lays there and whacks at me.


  1. As a mom to a 7 wk old still trying to get nursing figured out, I really needed this. Thanks for the laughs!