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Thursday, February 17, 2011

Dr. Mom: Infected Boob

Mastitus, which is Latin for "Massive Tit," is when you are a nursing mom and one of your boobs gets unbelievably huge and hard without the benefit of plastic surgery. Sometimes it gets blotchy and hot, both conditions acerbated by your husband poking at it because he cannot believe the size of that thing.

You could go to a professional and get antibiotics, OR massage it through an entire vampire movie which was really dumb or wear a cabbage leaf in your bra, which can't possibly work unless your husband hates cabbage and will then leave you alone.

3 comments:

  1. This made me do my horrendous snort laugh. I like you. A lot.

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  2. Oh man...I just came across your blog and after this post, I am seriously sitting here crying laughing and my husband is wondering to himself what the hell is going on. Thank you for this laugh...I completely needed it after today.:)

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  3. Thank you for making my day with such nice comments!

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