Three weeks old

Persnickity Snoo's guide for newborn babies on appropriate responses upon waking up.

WAKE UP!
Is your dipey dirty?  (can't tell)
When were you last fed? to test, grab at mom's nipples and see how sore they are. (Kindof sore)
 When was the last time you barfed up a whole boob's worth of milk? (4 a.m. this morning)
Where's that rash today? (ass)
This wasn't a problem when grandma was here.
-->Poop
-->Then cry