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Friday, December 3, 2010


Being pregnant on your wedding day sucks because you're pretty much fat and when you get the pictures back only then do you notice fat dimples on your elbows - your elbows, for God's sake. This, of course, is completely shallow, because people have way worse problems that your ridiculous body image issues and you're pregnant so of course you've gained weight, shut up already. And the pictures are gorgeous, brilliantly done; everyone else looks fabulous. Double shut up, then. Still, people will come over and see no wedding photo on your mantle and wonder if you hate your husband when the truth is marrying him was the best decision in your whole life but maybe, just maybe you should have laid off the kobe beef burgers in the first trimester or not chosen that sleeveless wedding gown.

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