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Saturday, January 22, 2011

Book of mommy firsts

First dried booger kissed 4 times, on purpose: (18 months old) Booger squished into crib sheets, object of extreme adoration and fascination by baby, who kissed it repeatedly before insisting mommy kiss it, too.

First crap-loaded diaper changed in a public eating area when no one was looking: (10 months) After two days of constipation, at an ice cream stand near Boston. Chocolate malt crunch previously ordered left uneaten.

First snot sucked out of sick baby's nose: (3 weeks) This is by far the worse advice Tiffany has ever given me. So gross. Tiffany, you are on the advice black list, seriously.

First fart blamed on baby: (also 10 months) SeaTac airport carousel #6. Exact words: "Oh, sweetie, I'll change your dipey as soon as daddy gets the luggage."

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