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Saturday, January 1, 2011

What's your sign? I'm a feces

Jeff is in the basement with the plumber and they just opened the main sewage line, opened it right into the basement and I can hear splashing and Jeff going "ARRRGGH" and this horrid smell washed upstairs, all over the house, a smell so bad that changing the diapers of three babies for four years has not prepared me for this in the least. It's ungodly awful. I think Jeff just barfed. The plumber has tried many things, for hours, and now this. It was the last option.

Does your basement flooding with sewage on January 1 mean the whole year will be filled with terrible luck, or should we be happy that things can only improve from here on? At least the girls will be delighted; they spend half their day devising ways to say "poop" or things that rhyme with "poop" so they don't get in trouble for potty talk; in the face of this, worrying about if a 4-year-old says poop seems like a total waste of parenting energy. Because now it seems the entire house is coated in shit, old shit, decayed shit, the shit of demons and dragons and Boston drivers and all the most evil foul creatures real or imagined.

The plumber thinks the main line is broken. We are so screwed.

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