38 weeks

Hi Paul - I'm looking forward to meeting your staff today. Is the following schedule still in effect? I should also let you know I'm over eight months pregnant, so don't be alarmed when we meet (this explains my inquiry over the start date). I debated not mentioning this beforehand because it is normally neither appropriate nor necessary to point out a physical trait prior to an interview. However, I decided that sharing this information could avoid an awkward moment upon meeting. And I'm all for avoiding awkward moments.

36 weeks

The baby is galloping kickity and I might die of heartburn and Jeff is trying not to laugh because the walls are so thin we can hear everything the nurses say and they are saying ridiculous things. I mean, what is this - diet camp? I'd like to see one of those fat-ass donut whores swim half a mile eight months pregnant.